If you want a girlfriend, then you have a bigger challenge ahead of you than most men have had in history. Gone are the usual, socially-arranged meeting places for young men and women. Instead, you are on your own. It is up to you to meet women in bars, gyms, cafes or wherever.
Furthermore, it is also up to you to figure out how to keep the woman around. After all, if you want a girlfriend, it is not enough to have some snappy pick-up lines that will just convince her to go out with you once. You need to convince her to stick it out with you for a while so that you can enjoy the pleasant company of a woman on a regular basis.
Given all this, you should divide your strategies into two. You need to figure out how to approach women convincingly and get them to like you. You also need to learn what it takes to convince a woman that you are worth hanging out with in the long-term.
There are some general guidelines to follow when it comes to meeting women as well as some specific tips.
In general, you need to look at your attitude. A lot of men will talk about how they wish that a woman was interested in them for who they are, their inner person or whatever. The simple, biological fact is that women are attracted to confident men. They may have nice things to say about men who are kind or caring or gentle but nothing moves them like confidence.
It is possible to get carried away with this advice. If you are cocky but do not have a sense of humor, you can easily come off as a jerk. Try to cultivate a sense of humor and do not ever be afraid to laugh at yourself a little. As with the recommended cockiness, you can also get carried away with the humor and just become a pathetic clown.
These two general guidelines do not seem very helpful if you are just not naturally confident and do not have a great sense of humor. They are not traits that you are going to master in a few days, weeks or even months. It takes a lot of practice to change the way you carry yourself in public.
Get used to rejection.
You will probably be rejected more often than you are accepted. The men who are most successful with women are the ones who could not care less about rejection. If 9 out of 10 women turn them down, that means it only takes about 10 approaches to find a woman.
You also need to learn to be comfortable with being alone. If you are desperate to avoid loneliness, women will sense this and reject you. They do not like desperate men.
This is a hard line to walk because we are all afraid of loneliness. However, if you really want a girlfriend, you will need to hide some of these feelings. You may have heard that women like men to share their feelings. Not really. They like it when men to whom they are already attracted deign to share some of their inner life with them. They do not want a gushing current of emotion, sadness, fear and everything else from a man that they just met. Learn to control your inner fears and project at least a veneer of self-confidence.
Now that you have got the attitude or have begun practicing it, it is time to approach real women and give it a shot. The next problem on your plate is finding these women. Where are they?
It is easy to find women in bars. However, before you run off to find just any woman, start to consider the kind of woman that you want and the kind with whom you think that you would be most successful. Do you really have the kind of personality that a woman in a bar will want in her life?
Remember, anybody can learn the right stratagems for a hook up in a bar. If your goal is really more of a long-term relationship, you need to be looking further down the road even before you get to the pick-up line.
Consider the different locations in which you might find a single woman. There are more than you might think. Besides bars, think of cafes. A different kind of woman may hang out there. She may be more laid back, appreciate reading and education more. However, she may also be a bit more demanding with regard to men. Easy pick-up lines may not interest her. Be prepared to reveal a little more about yourself before she says yes to a date.
You can also meet women in other places. Gyms are not just full of muscle-bound folks trying to lift weights or svelte women dancing in aerobics class. Plenty of people at gyms join because they are nervous about their looks and are eager to meet other people as you.
Married friends also make great contacts for finding women. This may surprise you because a many people write-off their married friends as zeroes in the social scene. Nothing could be further from the truth. Now all of the friends of your married buddy’s wife will be in his social circle. They will be over at his house. If you like your friend’s wife then you may find her friends interesting, too. Also, encountering people in domestic situations is more pressure-free than some more confrontational environments, such as bars.
Before you approach a woman in any of these environments, make yourself aware of your surroundings. Make your approach fit the environment. What works in a bar may not work at the grocery store. Double check your clothes to make sure that they fit and are in order. Check your breath. If it is unwholesome, use anything to freshen it up even temporarily. The most understanding girl in the cafe is not going to say yes to a guy with stinky breath.
The most successful lines will not be transparent pick-up lines. Instead, observe the woman beforehand and try to make a connection. Maybe you have seen her in public before or you obviously have a similar appreciation for something.
During the conversation, find some juncture at which it would be appropriate to touch her without being creepy. This might come as you lead her to a chair and you touch her back or as you lead her out to dance and you take her hand. Touching a woman this way causes subconscious signals that open her to you physically.
Keeping a Woman
If your approach is successful, you are now burdened with keeping her. You will have to develop more than just a series of pick-up lines for this task. The first step is to remember her. Give her a call a day or two after your first time out. Check in on her and, without being overly effusive, let her know that you had a good time and that you would like to go out again. Do not be vague. Ask her out to a specific event or location.
If she says yes, you will have to be prepared to deepen things a bit. It is time to start finding out more of what you have in common in your conversation. Most important of all, you have to be open to the possibility that it may not work out. In the end, this freedom from concern about consequences will keep you happier than anything else.